How do I address conflict between two senior engineers who both think they're right?

Meet with each engineer separately first to understand their perspective. Then facilitate a joint conversation focused on the shared goal, not the disagreement. Use data and user outcomes to guide the decision rather than seniority or personality. If both approaches are valid, run a time-boxed experiment rather than debating indefinitely.

What if I'm part of the conflict as the manager?

Acknowledge your role honestly. Say, "I think we're seeing this differently, and I want to understand your perspective." If you can't resolve it directly, bring in a neutral third party — your manager, a peer manager, or HR. The worst thing a manager can do is use their authority to "win" a conflict rather than resolve it.

How do I prevent recurring conflicts on my team?

Most recurring conflicts stem from unclear expectations or processes. Document decision-making frameworks (e.g., who has final say on architecture vs. product decisions). Establish team norms for code reviews, communication, and disagreement. Regular retros that surface friction points early prevent small issues from becoming chronic conflicts.

Conflict Resolution Strategies for Engineering Leaders

What is a Conflict Resolution?

Conflict on engineering teams is inevitable — disagreements about architecture, process, priorities, and communication styles arise regularly. The difference between healthy and toxic teams isn't the absence of conflict, but how it's handled. Effective engineering leaders address issues early, use structured feedback models, assume positive intent, and create space for private resolution. This guide covers four proven strategies for turning team friction into productive outcomes.

Key Takeaways

Address issues early — letting tension simmer leads to resentment
Use the SBI model (Situation, Behavior, Impact) for clear, actionable feedback
Assume positive intent — frame disagreements as misalignments, not personal attacks
Create space for private resolution — not group Slack threads

Four Conflict Resolution Strategies

1

Address issues early, not perfectly

Letting tension simmer leads to resentment. Use 1:1s to surface friction before it escalates. You don't need the perfect words — you need to start the conversation while the issue is still small.

2

Use the SBI model for feedback

Structure your feedback using Situation, Behavior, Impact. Example: "When you pushed the last release (situation), you bypassed the agreed testing checklist (behavior), which caused a regression in production (impact)." This keeps feedback specific and depersonalized.

3

Assume positive intent

Engineers are often under pressure; misunderstandings are common. Frame disagreements as misalignments, not personal attacks. Ask "What were you trying to achieve?" before jumping to conclusions.

4

Create space for private resolution

Use neutral ground like a 1:1 or mediated conversation — not group Slack threads — for sensitive topics. Public conflict embarrasses people and makes resolution harder.

When to Escalate

Not every conflict can be resolved between the two parties involved. Escalate when: the conflict involves harassment or discrimination, when it's affecting team output for more than two weeks, when previous attempts at resolution have failed, or when one party refuses to engage constructively. Involve your skip-level manager or HR partner early rather than letting the situation deteriorate further.

Common Conflict Triggers on Engineering Teams

Architecture or technical approach disagreements that become personal
Unclear ownership of code, systems, or decisions
Perceived unfairness in code review feedback or work distribution
Communication style differences (direct vs. indirect, sync vs. async)
Pressure from tight deadlines leading to shortcuts and blame

Spot friction before it becomes conflict

A lot of team conflict starts with uneven workloads or review bottlenecks. HackerPulse shows you work distribution and collaboration data, so you can fix the structural problem before people start blaming each other.

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