How do I give constructive feedback to a senior engineer who's been here longer than me?

Focus on the impact of the behavior, not the person's seniority. Use the SBI model to keep it objective. Lead with respect: "I've noticed [behavior] and wanted to share how it's affecting [impact]. I'd love your perspective." Experienced engineers generally respect specific, evidence-based feedback regardless of who delivers it.

What if someone gets emotional when receiving feedback?

Emotion doesn't mean the conversation failed — it means the person cares. Give them space to process. Say, "I can see this is hitting hard. Would you like to take a break and come back to this?" Don't withdraw the feedback, but show empathy for the response. Follow up later to check in.

How do I ask for feedback as a new engineering leader?

Be specific in your ask. Instead of "Do you have any feedback for me?" try "What's one thing I could do differently in our 1:1s?" or "How can I better support you with [specific project]?" Specificity lowers the social risk for the person giving feedback and produces more useful responses.

Giving & Receiving Feedback: A Guide for Engineering Leaders

What is a Feedback Guide?

Feedback is the single most impactful tool in an engineering leader's toolkit. It shapes behavior, builds trust, and drives growth — but only when delivered well. Most managers either avoid hard conversations entirely or deliver feedback so vaguely that it's useless. This guide covers the mechanics of giving feedback that actually lands and receiving feedback without defensiveness, with practical tips you can apply in your next 1:1.

Key Takeaways

Give feedback within 24–48 hours while context is fresh
Be specific — avoid vague "good job" statements that build no trust
Make feedback bi-directional — ask, "How did that land for you?"
When receiving feedback, listen without defensiveness and ask clarifying questions

Giving Feedback Effectively

1

Be timely — within 24–48 hours is ideal

Feedback loses impact with time. The closer to the event, the more relevant and actionable it feels. Don't save it for a quarterly review when the context has faded.

2

Be specific — name the behavior, not the person

Avoid vague statements like "great job" or "you need to communicate better." Instead: "In yesterday's sprint review, you explained the trade-offs clearly, which helped the product team make a faster decision."

3

Make it bi-directional

After sharing feedback, ask: "How did that land for you?" or "Does that match your experience?" This turns a monologue into a dialogue and builds psychological safety.

4

Balance positive and constructive

Don't only give feedback when something goes wrong. Regular positive feedback builds the trust needed for constructive conversations to land well. Aim for a ratio of at least 3:1 positive to constructive.

Ground feedback in evidence, not memory

Telling someone to "improve collaboration" is useless without specifics. HackerPulse gives you the actual data on contributions and review quality for each engineer.

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Receiving Feedback Gracefully

1

Listen without defensiveness

Your first instinct may be to explain or justify. Resist it. Take notes instead. The goal is to understand the other person's perspective, not to win the conversation.

2

Ask clarifying questions

"Can you give me an example?" or "When did you notice this?" shows you're taking the feedback seriously and helps you understand exactly what to change.

3

Thank the person and reflect

You don't have to act on every piece of feedback, but you should acknowledge it. Say "thank you for telling me" and take time to reflect before responding.

Building a Feedback Culture

Make feedback a regular habit, not a once-per-quarter ritual. The best engineering teams have normalized continuous feedback — in code reviews, retros, 1:1s, and even Slack. As a manager, model the behavior you want: ask for feedback on your own leadership, share what you're working on improving, and publicly thank people who give you honest input. When feedback becomes routine, it loses its edge and becomes what it should be: a tool for growth.